The average cost of weddings today is putting brides and grooms in the poor house. 

Is it necessary?

Do you want to go down that road?

More couples in the U.S. pay for their wedding expenses (or portions) long after the wedding is over. According to Costofwedding.com, the average wedding cost is between $15,000 and $25,000. For some this may sound high. For others too low. It depends on what part of the country you live.

 What is the average cost in your area?

Just enter your zip code in the box below.

I hope you are all still with me. I don’t know about you, but, when I entered my zip code there was a little sticker shock. If you scrolled down to the bottom of the page there were other expenses that were not included in that price.

No surprise to anyone, this figure is expected to rise in years to come.

 Got your calculator?

OK, lets do a little figuring. Say your wedding was around $20,000.  Now, suppose you want to save up for the big event so you don’t go into debt. If you can stash away $300.00 a month, it will take you a little over seven or eight years (figure inflation) to have the money to pay for the wedding. What engaged couple, already in the planning stages, is going to want to wait that long?

The discipline to save is not easy or fun. Most couples tend to pull out the charge card and pay as they go. This is not really the answer either. Interest rates can sore to unmanageable heights. Credit card companies may have you right where they want you when it is all done and said.

Who wants to spend the first years of marriage struggling with debt? 

Is this an exaggeration? 

Statistics say no. Financial stress is the number one killer of marriages. Couples planning their weddings think they are immune to spending that much for a single day only to discover the averages were dead on.

What should you do?

Sit down and set a realistic spending allowance. One that the two of you can live with.

Take off the blinders and stop being average. Don’t plan your wedding like all others couples do. If you want to stay on budget you need to be amazing – not average.

I came across ”wedding planning on a budget“. It is an instant down load you can print out and read at your leisure. It is a planning guide to help you save thousands of dollars on your wedding.  If you don’t have extra money because:

• you have college loans
• health issues
• low paying or no job

or are taking the penny pinching route, this may be the most practical resource. It will keep the average cost of most weddings on budget. Some couples refuse to pay top notch professionals. If you fall into this category, check it out for money saving strategies that can save you a bundle.

Planning a long distance wedding might be too much to handle on your own, however, with some advanced planning and loosening of the reins it can come off with a hitch. So if you have always dreamed about getting married where you grew up, read on and see if it is possible for you.

Choose a date and location as soon as possible. This makes all the other planning easier. Pre-think everything and make sure it is in writing. This is for your protection as well as any vendors you hire.

Do as much planning as possible where you live. Purchase a wedding planning book. It will help you stay organized. All your information will be in one place and at your finger tips at any given moment. Organize it by topics. Write down details, numbers and any conservations you may need to reference later.

Get wedded to the web. You can do a google search for a specific city to aid in planning. Choose your city and state to hone relevant options.

Call your phone company and order yellow pages for your location. Sometimes this may be faster than searching online. You can also pick up a local phone directory on a home visit.

Check out the chamber of commerce. They will be able to send or email info of local vendors as well as sites you might not have thought of. 

Start a Paper Trail

Ask vendors to send you brochures and prices for the date you have selected. Names and numbers of recent brides and grooms as reference. If they are reputable, speaking with past clients of theirs will reinforce your trust in their services. If they refuse, move on. Most vendors have websites. To save time, you may opt to contact them for recent references online.

Another option is to hire a local wedding planner or someone you trust to help you stay organized. With a few phone calls, you can set appointments with several vendors. Email or phone ahead of time. Share your ideas, possible times and dates. Then on a visit home, stop in to see them.

Keep a digital camera with you at all times. If you are meeting with several vendors on a short trip home, you may forget details. Taking pictures is a great way to store less info in the mind. Having less to remember keeps the planning stress free. Reviewing pictures back home will refresh any thoughts as long as you take the pictures.

Parents, one or both sets, can be a huge help with wedding plans. They will know local vendors if this is an option. Take advantage of having someone you can trust back home to over see any decisions you make from a distance. Family or friends will have your best interest at heart. If possible, delegate some of the planning to them.

Leave as much time as possible for short trips back home. If there is a holiday some where in between take advantage of following up with any plans you are concerned about. Ask questions if you are unsure about anything.

Let email be a quick line of communication. You never know when someone will have questions. You can email parents, friends or vendors if anything changes at any hour of the day/night.

It is highly recommended that you meet in person with vendors to avoid any disappointments the day of you wedding. Make a few quick phone calls and set up appointments to coincide with a trip home. Vendors will be prepared for your visit and you will be using the limited time you have wisely.  Plan:

• visits to your ceremony/reception location
• clergy
• caterer and cake maker
• photographer/videographer
• hair salon/nail tech
• florist

Keep in mind such things as tuxedos. These are best rented locally. It is one less thing to carry with you during travel. Returning them will be hassle free especially if one of the groomsmen lives in the city of your wedding location. With a “pretty please” he may offer his services of being in charge of their return.

Stay organized. Make lists and stick to them. Trust that you will get married even if some small detail is over looked. Don’t sweat the small stuff. 

As the big day draws near, double check your planning and have that long distance wedding you dreamt about.

Today’s post goes out to men who organize weddings.

What???? Men organizing a wedding!!!!

Well,  ”Show me that man”.  OK, if you would like to see that man, watch the video and come on back and comment.

If Men Organized Weddings

Remember, humor in our lives takes the edge off. If men get organized or involved in wedding planning the laughs will linger through out the process and into married life.

From starring roles to mini meals, dealing with children at weddings keeps the soul young at heart.

For some brides and grooms the question of having children involved in the wedding is pure joy while others shun the idea.

Children do and say the darnedest things. We need to remember as adults we are their role models. What they say and do they have learned from us.

What is Your Age?

One of the important issue for couples to keep in mind is the age of the children involved. The age range for flower girls and ring bearers is four to eight years old. Children younger can be unpredictable to walk down the aisle alone. Those older than eight feel the role is babyish. The best deciding factor is how well you know the child yourself. 

If you come from a large family and making a decision as to who will be chosen, choose all of them. How? Consider having them walk down the aisle with the bride carrying the train.

Too Old or TOO Young

If you have nieces/nephews, cousins or friends in the preteen stage that you would like to be included at your wedding, ask them to be a junior bridesmaids or usher. The role is similar to the adult version: the junior bridesmaid can wear the same style gown in a coordinating or different color. Just make sure it is a more youthful design (no plunging necklines or high cut slits).

Other roles to consider:

• candle lighter
• guest book attendant
• greeter who hands out programs
• head table servers
• hands out bubbles or bird seed

Most children feel special when asked to share in your day.

VIP

Do you want to show those children who much you care about them? Have them seated at their own table. Think small. Everything from the table and chairs to the decor can be down sized for the mini me gang. You can rent or borrow kid-sized furniture. Try to have a space for the children that has easy access yet not disturb adults. Hiring a babysitter or having an adult supervise the table will keep things from getting out of hand.

As far as decorating the table, remember that children are curious little creatures. They will touch and handle anything and everything. Save candles, flower vases with water, knives…for adult tables only. Create child friendly decorations such as floral shaped cookies or lollipops. Using paper table cloths are great for drooling and spills. Goodie bags filled with coloring books, games or puzzles can keep the little ones occupied instead of wondering when the adults will be finished eating.

Dealing with children at weddings can be easy and fun. And if you have plastic cups for the little darlings, they will toast their best to your future.

What comes to your mind when you hear Lovers’ Lane? Does it bring back memories of your first love?  Or a place where lovers meet? 

Wikipedia gives us this description: “Lovers’ lane is a generic term for secluded areas where people kiss or make out. These areas range from parking lots in secluded rural areas to places with extraordinary views of a cityscape or other feature”.

“Lovers’ lanes” are typically found in cultures built around the automobile—lovers often make out in a car or van for privacy.

“Lovers’ lanes have existed for centuries, sometimes as places for secret meetings with a loved one or as a euphemism for red-light districts and other areas of prostitution”.

I’d like to side track from Wikipedia today and talk about a different spin on Lovers’ Lane. It is the journey down the aisle on your wedding day.

Historically, an aisle runner was placed down so the bride wounld not get her gown dirty. Today, brides use them in their ceremonies as a sense of tradition or formality. The drama of the day is heighten as two groomsmen or ushers slowly unfurl the runner. Standing guest at this point are in anticipation of the bride’s appearance.

Aisle runners are usually made of paper or cloth. They can be purchased from bridal shops or florists. Most runners are white, symbolizing a pure pathway. Over the years brides have been quite creative by customizing them. From the flower girl dropping flower petals to imprinting floral designs. They can be monogramed with names or even verses of poetry.

Before you decide if a lovers lane aisle is in your plans, check your ceremony site. For safety reasons some houses of worship may not allow aisle runners as people may trip and fall. If you get the OK, think about safety first and preserving the runner. Scattering rose petals may be romantic, but they can stain or be slippery. Opt for freeze dried petal or silk flowers.

When it comes to decorating your aisle, keep in mind the the size, length and width. To keep costs down, simply adding bows accented with flowers is a nice touch. Or silk flowers with streamers that can later be used in a floral arrangement at the entrance of your new living quarters. Another thought is to rent candelabras or floral arrangements. Some vendors will set them up and pick them up once the ceremony is over. If you opt to have your own, consider using them at your reception. Another way to cut cost.  Remember to have someone in charge with a vehicle large enough to move them if this is your plan.

If you have mother nature in your plans with an out door wedding, she can provide a colorful display of objects that can personalize any wedding aisle.

If it is a beach wedding, think about lining that aisle with seashells, drift wood and exotic flowers. Tea lights in sand filled bags adds a little romance.

If you choose a garden wedding, the gate is wide open. From blooming baskets and potted wildflowers to long string ivy and arches, you are sure to have a memorable walk down the aisle. Professional landscapers are great for recommending the right combinations to pull off your theme. If you know one personally, talk with them in advance of the wedding date for suggestions. You may have the option of renting  or purchase. If you purchase, they can be used as gifts for special guests or they can be used to landscape that new place where the two of you will be living.

What else do we need to consider when it comes to walking down the aisle? How about the order of procession.

Christian ceremonies usually feature the groom and groomsmen entering from the chancel’s door and waiting at the altar. Like everything else this has changed over the years. Some grooms  usher their mothers down the aisle after grandparents and other special guests have been seated. He then proceeds to wait at the alter while the groomsmen enter from the side.

The bridemaids follow, walking alone and meet the groomsmen part way up the aisle or just before the altar. The junior bridesmaid precedes the maid of honor and is followed by the ring bearer and flower girl. The bride enters last escorted by her father (on his left side) or both parents.

With a little planning or the help of professionals, your first kiss as husband and wife in “Lovers’ Lane” aisle will add to your memories as the two of you begin life’s journey together.