Is there a way to choose bridal wedding party attendants and know you made the right decision?

Picking your attendants can be a social minefield.

So how do you choose the right wedding party for you?

Give yourself plenty of time to carefully select the people you’d most like to stand by your side. Remember, Once you’ve asked, there is no backtracking. It causes bad feelings and may put a rift between the two of you.

First determine your wedding’s style, budget and size. A small informal wedding looks silly with a large wedding party.

You do not have to have an equal ratio of attendants. If you have an unequal number,  group them. Four bridesmaids and three groomsmen – have two bridesmaids on each arm of one groomsmen. Another option is to have an usher stand in for the procession or for dancing.

Pick your maid of honor first. She will be your right hand gal as you go forward with your wedding plans. If you are having trouble deciding, have two maids of honor. There are plenty of duties to divide up between them. If one is married, give her the title of matron of honor.

Do not feel obligated to ask someone to be in your bridal wedding party because you were in their wedding. They may have had a larger wedding than you are having. If you are not close to that person because they moved away or you have lost touch over the years is no reason to ask them. Do not feel obligated to keep child pacts either. The other person may feel the same.

Be considerate of friends who may not be able to afford the financial burden of being involved in your bridal wedding  party. Either keep costs down or offer to help out by paying for some of the expenses yourself.

Another way to involve friends is to ask them to help out in other areas of the wedding. These include and are not limited to:

• Readers – have them read a poem or scripture during the ceremony.
• Distributor – have them hand out programs for the service. Packets of whatever is being tossed at the bride and groom after the ceremony.
• Greeter – have them welcome guests at the reception and direct them to the guest book and gift table.
• Toastmaster – have them make a toast at the reception.
• Party Promoter - have them be the first to get things rolling on the dance floor.

When choosing your bridal wedding party, try to think into the future a bit. Will these people be a major part of your life. They may be the ones to ask.

A friend who is in and out of your life may not take the duties involved in wedding planning seriously. They may come up with last minute  excuses why they can not go to prearranged appointments or parties. If your friend falls into the category of being irresponsible, they may not be a good choice. Life happens but weeding out the mostly likely candidates from the start will keep stress levels under control.