Is there a way to choose bridal wedding party attendants and know you made the right decision?

Picking your attendants can be a social minefield.

So how do you choose the right wedding party for you?

Give yourself plenty of time to carefully select the people you’d most like to stand by your side. Remember, Once you’ve asked, there is no backtracking. It causes bad feelings and may put a rift between the two of you.

First determine your wedding’s style, budget and size. A small informal wedding looks silly with a large wedding party.

You do not have to have an equal ratio of attendants. If you have an unequal number,  group them. Four bridesmaids and three groomsmen – have two bridesmaids on each arm of one groomsmen. Another option is to have an usher stand in for the procession or for dancing.

Pick your maid of honor first. She will be your right hand gal as you go forward with your wedding plans. If you are having trouble deciding, have two maids of honor. There are plenty of duties to divide up between them. If one is married, give her the title of matron of honor.

Do not feel obligated to ask someone to be in your bridal wedding party because you were in their wedding. They may have had a larger wedding than you are having. If you are not close to that person because they moved away or you have lost touch over the years is no reason to ask them. Do not feel obligated to keep child pacts either. The other person may feel the same.

Be considerate of friends who may not be able to afford the financial burden of being involved in your bridal wedding  party. Either keep costs down or offer to help out by paying for some of the expenses yourself.

Another way to involve friends is to ask them to help out in other areas of the wedding. These include and are not limited to:

• Readers – have them read a poem or scripture during the ceremony.
• Distributor – have them hand out programs for the service. Packets of whatever is being tossed at the bride and groom after the ceremony.
• Greeter – have them welcome guests at the reception and direct them to the guest book and gift table.
• Toastmaster – have them make a toast at the reception.
• Party Promoter - have them be the first to get things rolling on the dance floor.

When choosing your bridal wedding party, try to think into the future a bit. Will these people be a major part of your life. They may be the ones to ask.

A friend who is in and out of your life may not take the duties involved in wedding planning seriously. They may come up with last minute  excuses why they can not go to prearranged appointments or parties. If your friend falls into the category of being irresponsible, they may not be a good choice. Life happens but weeding out the mostly likely candidates from the start will keep stress levels under control.

Planning a wedding on a budget may be tough but it can be done. In the planning stages you’ve probably added, subtracted, multiplied and prayed and came to the conclusion that your actual wedding costs are going to be bigger than you’d planned. If you have signed any contracts what do you do? (Panic is not an option.) First, take a look at all your expenditures. Then talk with each of your vendors to figure outwhere it is possible to cut costs or change your choices without reneging on agreements. Most vendors are willing to work with you in a financial jam. Why? To keep your business and generate good word of mouth. Just keep in mind if you do cancel any contracts, usually, one third to one half of your deposit will be lost.  So where do you start in shaving the costs? Lets take a look.

Would you consider changing the date? If you are booked for a Saturday (which is prime time), think Friday night or Sunday afternoon. Talk to your caterer – they may offer you a price break if they think there is a good chance to rebook  your original time slot.

I’ll Have Lobster and Steak

Change the menu but not the concept. Instead of having a sit down meal featuring carved meats, offer a less pricey variety of pastas and sauces. You can down size dessert by serving sliced fresh tropical fruit with raspberry sorbet instead of a fancy chocolate torte decorated with mango sauce. This can cut five dollars per serving off your costs. Multiply that by 200 and you save a cool thousand.

If you are inviting a large number of people, ask the caterer if he’ll give you a discount. Use your guest count as a negotiating point. Eliminate a course. You can lose the appetizer and start the meal with a salad. No one will notice.

Instead of costly pre-made favors, make inexpensive ones yourself. Sugar cookies cost pennies; bake ahead of time and freeze them.

Another often overlooked price saver is serving house brand liquors instead of top shelf or premiums which can be significantly cheaper.

Smell the Roses

Being flexible is the key when it comes to flowers. You can significantly cut the bill if you stay with buds in season. Ordering out of season flowers can cost you big time. Instead of insisting on certain flowers, remind the florist of your preferred style – for example, you want a pink and yellow garden theme – your florist can budget by color instead of blooms. Think carnations or orchids instead of roses. Dusty millers and lady’s mantles are other good choices.  Greens can pack a lot of punch to bouquets, centerpieces and table arrangements without packing on the price.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

Another way to plan your wedding budget is to hire your photographer on a more limited basis than originally planned. Have them shoot from the ceremony to the first dance instead of until the last guest leaves. If you intended to get the jumbo photo package with multiple enlargements and leather album, opt for a smaller package that still fits your needs. You may also have friends that capture shots throughout the day the photographer might have missed being occupied with a list. Most people get doubles and share them any way. Instead of getting reprints ask the photographer about proofs. If they are of high quality and you can keep them, this is another bargain. You can also limit the number of disposable cameras you hand out saving mega money on the purchase of cameras and developing. Some people get crazy with cameras, you might end up with wasted film on shots of sparkles on a floor that may not even show up in dark lit halls.

And the Beat Goes On

Consider booking a DJ instead of a band. If you have your heart set on a live band strike a compromise; instead of six musicians playing the entire evening, opt for a three piece band. During the meal and/or cocktail hour, consider hiring a solo keyboard or saxophone player. Without a vocalist or others accompanying your solos you could save up to $500.00. Again, sometimes changing your wedding from a Saturday to a Friday or Sunday may cut costs too.

Don’t Kill a Tree

When it comes to invitations, cut down on the number of enclosure cards to stay within a budget. This can be a great way for you to help in protecting the environment. Every little bit helps. You can often include ceremony and reception information on the same card. Instead of expensive RSVP cards with matching envelopes opt for postcards. You will also save money on postage. Instead of hiring a calligrapher to address invitations, do them yourself (with a calligrapher marker sold at art stores) or ask friends with great penmanship. Instead of getting programs professionally printed, make them yourself.

Beep Beep – Beep Beep – Yah

 Another way to stay on budget with your weddingplanning is your transportation. Even if you have a contract with a limousine company, there may be some flexibility. For example, ask if you can book fewer limos than you originally planned. Instead of chauffeuring every member of your bridal party, hire just one car to drive you and your dad to the ceremony and later take you and the groom to the reception. If your style and setting is right; a horse and carriage/sleigh may be just as romantic.

Unless you always dreamed of stepping out of a big stretch limousine as the bride consider booking another set of wheels that is less expensive. You can save about 50% if you switch from a limo to a posh sedan or Lincoln Town Car. When it comes to your bridal party and you insist on wheels for them, a multi passenger van or mini bus can solve that situation and keep your bridalparty together.

Planning your wedding on a budget does not have to be painful. What is painful is taking out a loan to pay for it. Saving where you can and putting it towards a down payment on a house is much more rewarding down the road than that one day in your life. If your wedding is about connection it will be  remembered long after you say “I DO” and less on what you spend.