Write Wedding Vows
Have you ever thought about writing your own wedding vows? 
Vows are the heart of any wedding ceremony. They follow the greeting and precede the exchange of rings and the announcement of your marriage.
If you are considering your own, first make sure it is OK with your spouse. If you are both on the same page, then check with the officiant. Some religions require you use the traditional wording. Others might allow you to write your own wedding vows as long as you include certain phrases. Either way, you need to decide if they will be separate vows or you will share the same vow.
If it will be the same vow, sit down and brainstorm separately. What are the important issues you would like included? Some questions to get you thinking are:
- how did you meet
- what were your feelings when you fell in love
- when did you decide to get married
- what is the greatest thing about the other
- why do you want to marry this person
- will there be changes once you are married
After answering some of these questions, get together and share your thoughts. You can combine these thoughts into existing vows with your own elements included.
If you are each writing you own, agree on how elaborate they should be. It would not be good if one wrote a book and the other a few sentences. Decide what would be off limits such as money, sex or politics.
If you are writing your own vows, you could start with the basic consent. I, Julie, take you Adam, as my husband. Then you can go on with statements or promises of your own.
(Name of your spouse), you are my (fill in the blank with – best friend, only true love, the one I want to spend the rest of my time with)
Today, I take you to be my (wife, husband, lawfully wedded wife or husband, life partner, equal partner)
I promise you that I will be (faithful, trust worthy, worthy of your love, your loving partner, true to you )
I vow to (insert – honor, cherish, love, respect, laugh with you, cry with you, support you in your goals, what ever it is)
(insert here the length of your vow, for example, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, in all that we accomplish together) for as long as we both shall live.
Try to keep your wedding vows to three minutes or less. Why?
- You may lose uncle Bob half way through catching a few Z’s
- Children may decide to sing
- One of you attendants may faint
- Because it is not a good topic for discussion at the reception
If you are in front of the Justice of Peace this may not be a problem. If you have a ceremony consider the length beyond your vows. From the legal side, all that is required is the parties verbal consent.
The last thing to do when you write your own wedding vows is to practice. Especially if you are going to recite them from memory. It might not be a bad thing to have a note card just in case the jitters set in. You might want to put someone in charge of making sure the vows are at the ceremony. Either the Maid of Honor, Best Man or the officiant would be good choices.
wedding planning | Vicki Hasemann | November 5, 2009
The advise you give about vows are amazing.
Jose Escalante
Business Marketing Small
I think writing your own wedding vows is one of the coolest things you can do, because the words come from the heart and are not just boilerplate.
Steve Chambers
A great idea in having a written record of wedding vows. A great reminder to back into a loving bond when times are rough in this long term relationship.
John Ho
Numerology Expert Birthday Numeroscope
Original and personal is almost always better, in anything.
Martin O’Connor
http://www.smallbusinessdesigncenter.com
Writing your own wedding vows is a very nice touch. It really helps to make your wedding truly unique!
Lisa McLellan
Babysitting Services – Babysitter in your area
I’m tempted Keti.
Martin O’Connor
http://www.smallbusinessdesigncenter.com
The vows and the personal commitments are the heart and sole of the marriage.
Our religious affiliations sold us out by joining with the political and legal system when they lead us into including the state in the marriage contract via the marriage certificate. This certificate moves the marriage from a personal commitment between two human beings to a three party legal contract. The state, of course, being the third party.
The vary name “certificate” tells us this is now a commercial entity. It give power to the state to preside over the terms of termination of the contract, should there be a termination, and gives the state rights over the product of the contract, meaning the children.
We sign the marriage certificate unaware of the dangerous implications and our faith communities participate in the crime by not telling us the truth of what they facilitate our doing.
Enough of this for now!
Martin O’Connor
http://www.smallbusinessdesigncenter.com
Great advice, and a helpful template for the vows-writers out there!
Health, Fitness for Working People — Darryl Pace
Hi Vicki,
what wonderful wedding vow preparation tips, indeed. I’m with Mr. Wright. Capture those answers in a OUR LOVE STORY journal… and add to it with special memories, hikes, trips, romantic moments and stories over the years. We will make for interesting nursing home visits then.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Single Boomer Dating Expert
For couples to write-down and keep answers to those questions you posed: how did you meet, what were your feelings when you fell in love, what is the greatest thing about the other, why do you want to marry this person etc is a FANTASTIC idea. The answers can be used in years to come – most couples forget the “reasons” behind the bond of pre-marital love and attraction.
Martin Wright
Impact, Poise, Presenting
I just love it when people write their own wedding vows. To me it symbolises their commitment more than anything else! And when they are well done….even better.
Keri Eagan
AlternativeHealing*Insight